‘Everything is subjective,’ say some.
‘There is an objective truth,’ claim others.
‘It doesn’t really matter,’ say I, ‘let’s look at the people instead.’
Herein lies a suggestion that we as humans being, are really rather subjective. Strangely comforting.
We are subjective in how we view ourselves.
Opinions on what we like/don’t like are often developed through our perceptions of behaviours and traits, and the associated costs and benefits.
As we pick and choose whom we are and evolve our consciousness, the acts of addressing, suppressing, and abandoning different behaviours and traits, leads us towards being an amalgamation of interpretations, mushed together over an extended period of time with little self correction. Often we are sensitive to our sense of self and how we feel about ourselves can influence how we feel about others.
We are also subjective in context.
We are not as in control as we sometimes think when it comes to who we are. We display ourselves differently, both consciously and subconsciously, dependent on who we are with, the situation, and the wider contexts too. Our roles in any relational dynamic come into play to influence our behaviour before we even recognise that there has been a shift. We care about and are aware of roles and duties.
Subjectivity is overwhelming in how others view us.
While we muddle through our experiences, we encounter many many people, each holding their own story, unable to be lived by any other. This causes the variation between us to be dazzling as we sprawl infinitely with preferential diversity.
There are several theories about why people prefer to be around some people over others, find certain traits attractive etc. but what it all comes down to is this: Not everyone you meet will like you.
Even if by some freak potential you behaved exactly the same way with every person you met, in the most nice and reciprocal way, not everyone would like you.
The way we are received influences a viewer’s perceptions of us. In the world of one we may well be really annoying or emotional, but in another’s be found interesting or adequately gentle.
Subjectivity in time-space
As time passes, we grow and evolve our thinking. Retrospectively our views and emotions about people are changed. The emotional potency of their presence in our minds no longer causes the same severity of response, and often times the emotion can change entirely. i.e. Love to loveless peace or some other emotion like anger or grief.
You can never succeed in pleasing everybody, that’s just the way it is. Relax into who you are and accept the fluidity of human nature. Some of us are different by day while others have extended periods of stability. It’s healthy to develop, to change and move forward, even better to do so in peace.
Without growth there is no life.