I am Nihil

The tea I made to soothe
has gone cold as stone
and my heart hurts thumping
behind tired, aching bones.
I feel so alone
and days pass by so slow
I dream of cliffs and bridges
from which my body I could throw.
I hate myself
for my sheer ineptitude
misguided self beliefs reveal
who I truly am underneath
writhing, weeping, dying
drowned in undying grief.
I am no one.
I am weak.
heavens grant me relief?