Today we are lucky enough to be exploring Carlos’ relationship with literature, particularly poetry, and how it supports and encourages personal growth.

Carlos Cabrera

To dive deeper into the literary works of Carlos visit emotionallyraw.com

Follow Carlos, @Beipher

ULT: Hey Carlos, thank you for agreeing to take part in an interview for ULT, I hope the day finds you well.

I noticed you write poetry and enjoyed several of them on your website, when did you start to write poetry?

CAR: I started writing poetry in my early teens after reading a poetry book from Jim Morrison, lead singer of The Doors.

ULT: Do you have any particular poems you enjoyed by Jim Morrison? (Top level taste btw)

CAR: My all time, favorite has always been ‘Awake’. It completely changed me and the way I thought about poetry and literature in general.

Shake dreams from your hair
My pretty child, my sweet one.
Choose the day and
choose the sign of your day
The day’s divinity
First thing you see.
A vast radiant beach
in a cool jeweled moon
Couples naked race down by it’s quiet side
And we laugh like soft, mad children
Smug in the woolly cotton brains of infancy
The music and voices are all around us.
Choose, they croon, the Ancient Ones
The time has come again
Choose now, they croon,
Beneath the moon
Beside an ancient lake
Enter again the sweet forest
Enter the hot dream
Come with us
Everything is broken up and dances.
- Jim Morrison

ULT: What do you think made that poem stand out to you?

CAR: I can’t really explain it in words as to why it stood out or why it had a profound impact on my young brain. It was a feeling. Emotions that manifested inside me. A connection, if you will, that poetry does not have to tell a story; it can be multiple thoughts thrown into one; it can have surrealism while still have a sense of reality. Of course the rhyming. It still has an impact on me as my poetry does tend to rhyme. When I came across it, something in my mind and soul kind of clicked. It opened doors for me (he he) that I did not know existed.

ULT: Is poetry the first writing style you felt an affinity with?

CAR: Yes, I instantly felt an emotional connection to poetry. The emotions it can evoke intrigued me, like manipulating the reader’s own mind.

ULT: When you write poetry do you aim to manipulate a readers mind more often than not? Or is it more important to have the cathartic release?

CAR: It is not my main intention, but I do keep that in mind when writing. I think I would like to add that it’s not really manipulation of the reader but like you phrased it, more of the cathartic release in my poetry.

ULT: What makes poetry special to you?

CAR: I am able to grow and process my emotional states through poetry. It is a form of therapy for me. It brings out the rawness of my emotions.

ULT: Do you like to read too? If so are there any characters that come to mind?

CAR: I do like to read, although I have found less and less time lately due to having a child, but I have always loved The Count of Monte Cristo and felt a connection with Edmond Dantes.

ULT: Strong relate. I have a toddler at home 😅 Why do you think those characters stand out to you?

CAR: He stood out to me because growing up I felt rejected from society, from my peers and at times even my own family. Edmond Dantes gets betrayed and is sent off to prison and essentially written off from all those he called friends.

ULT: Did the relatability you felt with Dantes help your own processing as the story progressed? Is it important to escapism to have relatability in a book you are reading?

CAR: I’m not sure if you have read the book but he plans his escape and gets his revenge with those who wronged him. In a way, I always felt like I had a chip on my shoulder, and nothing would have made me feel vindicated if I could be great at something.

ULT: When you engage with any type of fictional literature, what do you hope to gain?

CAR: When engaging any type of literature, I hope to be transported into a different world. Be it real life or fantasy. To see the world through the eyes of the narrator or main character. To feel their dilemmas or pain or joy.

ULT: Do you think reading or writing literature is better for your mental health overall?

CAR: Writing has helped with my mental health. It continues to help me with my severe depression and anxiety. It helps processing it and many times I feel that it confirms my feelings and maybe it will help others feeling the same.

ULT: Right! The sharing is an important part of connecting and helping others out there. The processing and conceptualisation you experience while writing sounds like a bit of a lifeline in times of need, do you write consciously to share an image and concepts or do you write more on your feelings and emotionality?

CAR: Sharing one’s experiences can have a huge impact on others, maybe even give them strength to pursue something they were scared to act on. Lately, due to the writing community, and seeing how many relate to the issues I face, I have been writing more from straight feelings and emotions. Those core emotions we all can relate to.

ULT: It’s incredible how many people are happy to share and join in. Making the interviews public means the writing community can take a look and find their own paths and ideas too. 🙂

Would you say the characters you have written or read, or their adventures, have helped you to learn more about who you are and where you’ve been?

CAR: This is an excellent question! The materials I have read and the characters within them have made me realize that I cheer for the underdog. The unwanted, the one’s that get picked on. The one that all odds are against them. Because in a sense, with my mental illness, there’s a bit of that. The feeling of your own mind telling you that you can’t. Your own inner critic putting you down. Every time I challenge that, just like the characters overcome those obstacles, it’s a win.

ULT: That’s an excellent take, to be motivated towards positive growth and to discover/develop more inner strength and confidence.

Do you have any upcoming releases for us to get excited about? Or maybe a poem to share if you prefer?

CAR: I do have a new poetry book coming out soon, Into The Depths. The following is one of the poems in the book:

Mold

This depression has taken its toll
Devoured the person I was
Its roots spread out to all parts
Of my body, mind and soul.

Rotting my brain
Personality and mood
It grows and grows like mold.

It has taken plenty of friends
Substituted them
For voices in my head.

Alas I am overcome
With pain and sorrows
No sound escapes my throat
Just a shell
Hollow.

A castle stripped to its bones
Hints of its former glory
Crumbling walls and stones
No time to tell that story
As the mold unfolds.

Thank you Carlos for sharing your thoughts, it’s very much appreciated.

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